Austria Wins By A Whisker

Austria was saved from utter humiliation yesterday when their team managed to pull off a 3-2 victory against the Ivory Coast. Had they lost the match, Austria would have broken their own record of nine consecutive losses.

As one of the host nations of next year's Euro 2008 Championship, Austria was hoping that the home advantage would give their players an extra spring in their step. But judging from this season's performance, a miracle is needed to set the Austrians back on course.

Thankfully, Austria qualifies automatically with co-host Switzerland, so the nail-biting won't begin in earnest until next June. That said, bookies won't be offering high odds on Austria walking away with the Euro 2008 Cup. Indeed, some Austrians are so ashamed of their players' performance that they've been calling for the team to resign from their automatic qualification. Come on lads - that's going a bit far. The show's not over until that fat man scores.